Maturioration

[muh-choo-ree-uh-rey-shuhn]

n. the gradual breakdown of your body as you get older, which prevents you from being as reckless as you were in youth.

Use: At 21 you spend all day drinking and one hour hungover; at 40 you spend one hour drinking and all day hungover; at 25 you start to notice this trend of maturioration and can’t decide whether to keep living in up while you can or start going to bed at 10pm to minimize the pain later.